For hundreds of years now, America and Canada have been eating tender turkey on Thanksgiving. Billions of birds have witnessed family arguments and food comas. They've also seen shattered ovens, splattered pies, and hideous culinary disasters. But we bet you haven't! We're absolutely sure you had a better holiday than these people. Take a look and compare: Don't you feel better about your meal, already?
We Think the Meal Is Well Done Enough by Now
Blazes don't politely wait until you're done with the holidays. They're a real risk all the time, folks! According to the National Fire Protection Association: "In 2019, U.S. fire departments responded to an estimated 1,400 home cooking fires on Thanksgiving, the peak day for such fires." We are pretty sure the pattern has continued since then. Take a look at this suburban McMansion up in flames, right on turkey day!
We hope they had insurance to cover these losses, long-term. And hopefully, they were able to get a pumpkin pie latte on their way to a hotel. Dinner is clearly canceled!
This Cop Just Wanted One Thing For Thanksgiving
We all understand that the world doesn't stop working on our holidays. Thinking about it, we can imagine there are a lot of people who didn't get the day off at gas stations, hospitals, and other essential spots. The police are certainly at work, making sure no one tries any funny business while you're taking your post-meal nap. This officer actually doesn't mind doing his duty. He just has one complaint. What could it be?
It's not what you would expect, since it doesn't involve granny's gravy. With this selfie, he explains: "I’m not sad I’m working Thanksgiving, I’m sad my donut shop is closed."
But Halloween Already Happened
In the best-case scenario, Thanksgiving is a time when you gather with loved ones and let the good times roll. But there's theory and there's reality. And the reality is, this fall feast is a time when a lot of personalities are crammed together and asked to smile. It can actually be challenging to see your own flesh and blood. Lindsay on Twitter made her little joke about the tension, here.
It's time to acknowledge the dark side of the table: Why does it seem like Thanksgiving is full of demons, emotional vampires, and absolute, witches? Haunted houses are supposed to be a Halloween tradition!
We're One Hundred Percent Sure He Didn't Mean This
Maybe we should be giving thanks all year round. But there is at least one day where we definitely do it formally. Thanksgiving is time to talk about what we cherish most over a plate of comfort food. What happens when you are late for the meal, though? On Reddit, this user shared: "Last year my brother had to work on thanksgiving. He asked me to save him a little bit of everything."
This is certainly one of the letters of the law, spirit of the law disputes. Sure, a little bit was saved from each dish. But how little is too little? And should he be grateful for crumbs?
When Your Fridge Is a Horror Movie in Progress
Looking at this picture, you might immediately think you are at a crime scene. What is lurking and floating in that box? It looks like a dead body, and we wouldn't blame you for calling 911. But there's no need, as it turns out. The owner of this snap explained the scene online: "Someone asked me what I use to marinate my turkey, I told them I use the marinating drawer in the fridge."
It's just a new way to marinate, that's all. It might not be a bad idea, in theory. But in practice, this is a hideous sight that doesn't belong in the holiday album. Keep this your little secret, if you must!
This Turkey Is Accurate Except for One Thing
We found this holiday platter on social media, and we have to admit, we are a little confused. It looks like a turkey, and all of the anatomy we know and love is right there. We see beak, and we see feathers. But we also see something else we've never quite seen before. The user shared: "My 17-year-old cousin made this for the family Thanksgiving party. Took me a good 30 minutes to notice."
There is something very human attached at the bottom. If you didn't see it right away, don't feel too bad. A whole half-hour passed before guests called the carrot and peas out!
We Like Turkey Breast but We've Never Seen These Before
There's a reason people don't serve turkey every day. It's a big bird, and it can take four hours to cook all the way through. We appreciate the hard work put in when we do get a plate of the stuff. But the recipes are so dull! Many rely on cranberry sauce if we want any zest in our bites. This year, add two lemon halves and let the flavor flow.
This idea is sure to titillate all the guests. But make sure to avoid placing them too close together, right on top. Take a look at this turkey gone wrong!
Even Tofurky Is Better Than This Idea
Few of us have eaten Spam lately. Even fewer of us have any idea what the name means, and it's high time we get that answered. The internet seems to be split on the issue. Some say it's an acronym for 'Special Processed American Meat'. Others say the name came from spiced ham, a combo of the words. We will let that debate play out, but we have a firm opinion on this dish. Yuck-o!
Someone thought it would be comparable to carve a turkey out of this meat paste, and we just don't agree. We're just glad we didn't have to resort to this, at our table!
We Love Flame Grilled Meat
We know our stoves get clogged full of crumbs over time. We're not always on top of the mess, and a lot gets baked at the bottom and turned into soot. That's usually not a problem. But if oil spills too, and there's high heat for a long time, things can get hot. Here, a turkey burst into flames when the cook opened the oven to check. It looks intense!
Our advice: Keep your eye out for sparks, but don't neglect to clean. A little elbow grease goes a long way on greasy grease. This meat got overcooked, to say the least!
We Are Ungrateful for This Meatloaf Monstrosity
We know that turkey is a pricy bird, and some people decide to substitute. But looking at this culinary creation has made us queasy, and we can't even smell it. What led anyone to combine these elements and call it a turkey? The Redditor responsible explained: "Got snowed in so we had to work with what we had. I present meatloaf 'turkey', complete with little smokie stuffing. Happy thanksgiving y’all."
The worst part might be the bed of avocado slices. Or is it zucchini? We are not sure, but neither would make this mouthwatering. We are totally sure we had a better meal than these people. Everyone did!
It's Not Indigestion
We all hope that overeating just results in a few extra pounds. If our belly pain ever got serious, it would truly ruin the day. This gal ended up in the ER, and had no idea what to think. Was it too much gravy? As it happens, it was just bad timing. She explains: "Spent thanksgiving morning in ER because I had sharp pains in my belly area. Turns out I have an ovarian cyst. In the spirit of giving enjoy a pic of me doped up on morphine. Happy Thanksgiving."
She could have found out any other time, but it had to happen right on the holiday. Bad luck, but she's grateful they caught it. That's what Thanksgiving is all about, isn't it?
We hope It's Tender Inside
Every talented chef had a first attempt in the kitchen. We imagine it didn't always go as planned. And hey, practice makes perfect. But this picture posted online makes us think that we never screwed up badly at all. It's something charred and soupy, and we are rapidly losing our appetite. What was this, before the cooking process? A Reddit user posted: "Happy Thanksgiving from my little sister's first-ever turkey."
We are shocked to learn that this is a glazed gobbler. It's unfit for human consumption. Even dogs would be wise to stay away. Will they even have time for a take two?
This Table Itself Failed Everyone This Year
The classic holiday table is full of hot, steaming comfort food. Side dishes like marshmallow sweet potatoes, green beans, and jiggy cranberry sauce are all on the menu along with turkey, gravy, and pumpkin pie. It's a lot of work to do it all yourself. But if you manage to pull it off, you want to make sure it stays off the floor. It's the least you can hope for, really. What happened here?
The entire feast has collapsed, and we don't see any pranksters around. It looks like the table legs just gave out, and nothing survived. Pumpkin pie with hot gravy, anyone?
She's Totally Fallen off the Gravy Train
The stress of cooking for dozens of guests must be intense. We cannot conclude anything else from looking at this photo. Everyone has a favorite food, and they all want it just so. Crumpled into the floorboards, this gal seems overwhelmed. That's perfectly understandable. But we see she's left the oven door, and we hope it's not on. Things could go from bad to worse if she's not careful here.
It's probably just a momentary lapse. But this is no time to give up! Soon, the whole family will be here arguing over everything you hold dear. There's plenty of time to give up later!
It's a Twist on a Classic and We Hate It
We are not ones to shy away from trying new tastes. On the contrary: We get bored easily, and we love to try the latest trends in the world of food. But this Reddit recipe is not on our list of snacks. We just want to know what in the world we are looking at. The creator explained: "I removed the skin before carving my turkey and made a thanksgiving burrito."
Now that we understand this is meat wrapped in turkey flesh, we can stop wondering. And we can start boycotting! There's no way this will become normal. How can we let this stand?
This Wasn't Easy as Pie After All
If there's one holiday that is full of pies, Thanksgiving gets that title. We can't think of another time when we consume pumpkin pie, apple pie, and pecan pie all in one go. It would normally be considered excessive. But on turkey day, excessive is the name of the game. Here, we see yet another American mom in the process of pie. She is taking it out of the oven, but it's a bit too hot for her mitt.
The pie is literally on fire, folks. We see her son is in the corner, laughing away. And someone else is here gathering photo evidence. A helping hand? Nowhere to be found. Mom's not going to forget this holiday memory. Thanks, fam!
We Do Love Vodka
Getting drunk is not only a tradition on Thanksgiving. Some would call it a strategy. How else are you supposed to survive the inlaws on both sides at one table? It's a lot to ask, even of a saint. Here, the hosting mom prepared a little alcohol in the corner. But this year, it seems a little low effort. She explained: "Jell-o shot casserole: Because I’m too lazy to do individual shot glasses. It’s the perfect thanksgiving tradition."
Maybe this will be seen as lazy. But we have a feeling that a lot of guests will enjoy the buffet style. It's all you can eat, drink, and jiggle!
We Can Call This Dark Meat
According to nutrition experts, there is no reason you can't enjoy a bit of dark meat in your diet. We all think the white stuff is healthier. But actually, you might be missing out on extra iron, and extra flavor, if you forgo the thighs. Here, we think got a little confused about that advice. He cooked his turkey until it was dark, all the way through. We don't even want to know the flavor of that meat, sir.
We have a feeling guests were unenthusiastic about slices off this bird. Here, we can see no one has told him the truth yet. But that moment is coming, and cranberry sauce isn't going to save him.
This Is Absolutely Unnatural in a Lot of Ways
We never thought we would see these two types of meat in one dish. And we certainly didn't think we see them battling in the oven. Here, an octopus is coming out of a turkey butt. Or maybe, a turkey has swallowed the sea creature with its bottom. We don't know the order, but now, they are both cooked and ready to serve. Who is interested in the first bite?
Well, not us. And we suspect not you, either. Any adventurous foodies out there? We've got an entire turkey-pus waiting for you, and all for you. Let us know how it goes!
We Snapped and We Crackled at This One
Rice Krispies is the morning cereal that goes "Snap, Crackle, and Pop". We've never questioned its simplicity because that's what made it so special. Sometimes, we made it into marshmallow snacks e called rice crispy treats. But that's as far as we ever went with the stuff outside of our bowls. Today, that all changes. We present to you: Rice crispy turkey. It won't go soggy, even in heavy gravy!
Well, it won't go in our mouths unless it's left as a sweet treat. But in that case, we hope it's not intended as a main course substitute. We would never be fooled!
We Heard Prices Were Going up in the Shops
A witty man once said: "Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." We all know that prices go up from time to time. We don't always know why it's happening, but we know that a loaf of bread used to be a nickel, back in the day. Money is funny. But this turkey certainly is not!
We cannot imagine a reason that a single gobbler would cost more than 6,000 buckaroos. If this isn't a typo, it's time to switch birds. Duck isn't that bad, is it?
When You Char the Backup Bird
When you manage to burn one turkey, that has to be emotionally devasting. The amount of prep put in, plus the hours it takes to cook, is just too much to waste. But here, someone shared how they really screwed up by burning two birds. How did the cook deal with the shame? They explained: "The turkeys might have been burned but the laughter and the company were all that mattered. Happy Thanksgiving."
Truthfully, the real point of the holiday is to be humble, grateful, and loving. It's nice to hear that someone remembered. Usually, we have too much heartburn to think about it!
Keep Calm and Gobble Gobble on
There are many ways to present the same dish, when it comes to high-level cookery. No two chefs do anything the same way. The most basic concept can vary, and it's all in the presentation. Here, we see someone decided to get clever with their glazed bird. They've positioned it upside down, and butt side up. They have added green garnish galore, and an egg sits on top. Does it have a face?
Seems so, folks. Egg man has a little hat made of carrot, as well. We don't know the symbolic meaning of this food art. But we can say it's unique, and that's probably the point. It's a real statement piece!
Lesson Learned and Burned
Here, we see the aftermath of a glassy accident in the oven. It looks like there was something hot and steamy, cooking right up. But maybe there was some kind of crack in the vessel, or it wasn't intended for the oven. Not all dishes are meant for high heat, friends. You need to check the bottom! This had to be a cheapo, and that can end being more expensive.
Instead of cleaning it up right away, we see someone took a close-up to remember it forever. Some lessons are hard to learn. This one won't be forgotten.
It's Pumpkin Spice and Something Not Nice
With so many pies in the spotlight, it's easy to forget the category of Thanksgiving day cakes. Frostig really allows you to create any scene or figure in color and cream. Whether you want to honor the natives or picture the pilgrims, this can be a big area for creativity on the table. Her, we see someone wanted to make a sugary turkey, and they did a remarkable job with the feathers.
But if we're honest, something is really off with the body. It reminds us of something else, but it's hard to put our finger on it. What do you think it looks like?
Tensions Ran High at This at the Dessert Table
We all know that there is a certain etiquette when it comes to pies, cakes, and brownies. There's acceptable behavior, and there's this. On Reddit, there was quite a discussion about the photo below. We cannot wrap our minds around this, and we need answers. Who cut their slices all willy nilly, however they pleased? The victim shared: "Everyone complains about their family after thanksgiving, but mine truly are monsters."
If asked, few would admit the crime or do the time. Unless you set up cameras, you are going to be vulnerable. We're not grateful people like this technically leave us pie. That's not a defense!
There’s Always Something to Be Thankful for
It's a Thanksgiving day disaster, but this young chef has a great attitude about his mistake. We can see he let a raw turkey slip out of his hands right onto the floor. All the stuffing has exploded, and it's caused quite a mess. But he doesn't seem too discouraged. We see he has thumbs up for the camera, and a sheepish smile. Time for take two, before the guests arrive!
At this stage, he probably has time to make a new batch and wash the meat off in the sink. We think he can still salvage the meal. It's not too late!
This Pie Massacre Is Gruesome Stuff
One gal decided she was going to go above and beyond for her loved ones. That meant making a pie with love, straight from the heart. Unfortunately, it looks like the pie went straight to the garbage. Look at this mess! On Reddit, she shared: "Stayed up until 4 am baking my first fully from scratch apple pie for thanksgiving. Stayed up until 4:30 am having a breakdown over dropping it."
Truthfully, this could make a perfectly good cobbler or crumble, But if she had her heart set on a perfect pie, that dream died. We think she should rebrand it, though!
It's Technically Turkey
One man posted this photo on social media and knew he would get lots of engagement. This was the turkey his wife bought for Thanksgiving, Although it might make good sliced deli meat all year long, we all know that this isn't what is expected o the holiday. Guests want a big, glazed bird, and they want to it whole, in all its glory. This just doesn't cut it, and we hope she didn't cut it.
It's debatable if it's better than nothing. But we might just be on the side of no. Even a common, baked chicken would be more appropriate than this. The pilgrims would be appalled!
Sometimes We Question if Dogs Are Man's BFF
Once they were wolves, but then they became our buddies. Dogs are silly, dopey, relatives of their fierce ancestors. We trust them to run around in our homes, and we don't even mind that they make messes. On a normal day, messes are part of the deal. Here in the Thanksgiving kitchen, though, it wasn't the best time to get the zoomies. What is this dog-caused disaster, all over the floor?
Why, it's the main course, of course. The owner explained: "Dog pulled the turkey off the counter and shattered the glass dish it was in." Better luck next year, we suppose!
We Are Also Not Thankful for This Cake Designer
There are way fewer cakes than pies on turkey day. Maybe there's no good reason to neglect the category. Here, we see an attempt to bring cake into the big meal. It's a pink pig with white chocolate chip teeth and fresh strawberries for ears and back fur. But right away, we notice: It's hideous! The only berries we need today are cranberries. What in the world is this situation?
We are sure that your dessert table was better than this one. It doesn't make any sense, and it has nothing to do with America, gratitude, or the Indians. In summary: Zero stars.
Count Your Blessings
It's never fun to get sick on a holiday. That's supposed to be your day off from work or school, and it's your precious free time. Spending that in the hospital is the last way you want to relax. Here, we see that someone did have to do exactly that, as we know they are not alone. Accidents happen every day of the year! Bills do, too. Here we can see the result of that visit, in dollars and cents.
It's hard to imagine doing this math on Thanksgiving and still being grateful. It's easy to say health is wealth and smile at dinner. But it's hard to think about paying the price!
They Say There’s Always Room for Seconds
Some people like their turkey smoked, and some like it glazed. Some people slop on the cranberry sauce, and some like it with gravy. However you eat your bird, we know it isn't like this. On Reddit, someone posted a horrifying photo of an alternative main course. We see that there are tentacles and there are claws. They're both coming out of some sort of poultry, and we don't know how they got there.
If you're feeling queasy, we don't blame you. This is not something we would want to see at our yearly meal. It's not something we want to see at any meal, frankly. Think of the flavors!
We've Got a Sudden Attitude of Gratitude
We all hope that we never become a statistic. There are all sorts of disasters in life, and we know the worst-case scenario does happen every day. But a house fire in the middle of the day? That seems like it's more in our own control. Here, a Reddit user decided to post a photo of his incredibly unfortunate holiday. He shared: "My apartment building burned down this afternoon. Happy Thanksgiving I guess."
Truthfully, a fire can spread quicker than we think. On a big food holiday like this one, there are way too many kitchens operating at the max. Not so surprising, in that sense!
We Just Don't Eat Anything With a Face
Do you avoid eating anything with a face? Vegetarians have long explained their eating strategy this way. We suppose that includes animals on land, in the air, and in the sea. But for meat-eaters out there, that has never been a problem. Face or not, delicious is the main question at hand. Today, we think we may have found an exception. This is a meat that all can agree on!
This turkey with a face is terrifying, and we don't want any part of it. No matter how tender it turns out, yikes! We are just uneasy looking at it.
They Say Leftovers Are for Quitters
There's a first time for everything, and taking the lead on Thanksgiving is one of those things. Turkey is not an easy bird to cook, and messing it up can mean a meal is ruined for dozens. With that kind of pressure, we are surprised anyone starts. But here, someone was brave, if still unskilled. Here is their handiwork. The Reddit user confessed: "First year mom trusted me with the turkey."
Can you tell? It's not the best result we've ever seen. We hope only the outside is charred, but we have a feeling the problem goes deeper and darker. Much deeper and much darker!
We've Literally Never Seen This Happen Before
We thought we saw it all, in terms of kitchen nightmares on the big day. But now, with this photo, we know people out there are dealing with so much more. We are grateful that we never had an exploding oven door on our holiday. By some stroke of luck, it seems to have occurred in an empty room. Imagine standing close at the time of the shattering. Ouch is an understatement!
But now that we know everyone is safe, we can look at the science here. We never knew that glass would fall forward like this if it got too hot. And why did it get so hot? We have questions, and we hope you have answers.
Thanksgiving Curiosity Thrilled the Cat
On social media, one gal simply explained: "My cat ruined Thanksgiving." Looking at the picture, we can see what she means. While letting her turkey thaw, she didn't think to watch the package. It's a long process, and the sink should have been a safe spot. But when you have felines stalking your meat, you can't abandon it. Kitty probably smelled something special. How often is raw turkey even in a home?
We can see there was a full investigation with claws. When the gruesome scene was discovered, it was too late. This bird is shredded, and there's no undoing that now.
When You Know You Had More Than Seconds and Thirds
We all know that binging and gorging is the whole point of a Thanksgiving meal. We often gain a pound or two, eating those leftovers all week afterward. But how much is too much? Looking at this photo, we see someone might be concerned about their weight. This scale is totally shattered, and it looks like it's out of commission. One Redditor wondered: "Thanksgiving 2019, have I hit rock bottom?"
Maybe she should check the scale warranty. There's a chance the product is really, really old. But the other theory is too much pumpkin pie. We hope it's the former!
This Bird Is a Total Turd
Gobble, gobble, we love turkeys. We how they are big, feathery, and fat. When we are not eating them, we are using them as decor around the house. They may not have given us permission. But again, we plan on eating them. We're not asking them! Here, someone used a turkey as inspiration for a dessert. In frosting, they have exaggerated the eyes and reinterpreted the body of the bird. Are you appetized?
We really aren't. The design looks more like something that belongs in the toilet. But yet, it's actually right here, in our kitchen. Looking at the box, we are shocked this was actually for sale.